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Jeren, Corrupted Bishop // Ormendal, Corruptor Once on the battlefield, instead of losing hit points like black, 3/4 of your total stats

This could still work, but only when you make sure of the following: Make your defense nigh impenetrable: make sure that attacking you is the last thing opponents want to do

Most people whove seen it probably know that it features the likeness of current Magic: The Gathering World Champion and all-time great Paulo Vitor Damo da Rosa

Except Call the Mountain Chocobo is also a noncreature spell for the spellslinger archetypes in blue and black, plus it has flashback to go do it again later